Care recipient (cr) needs help dealing with his her financially dependent adult children grandchildren

Try: Suggest that cr have a family financial meeting with his her adult children grandchildren suggest that cr explain to them the costs involved in keeping them ranging from food electricity gas maintenance of the home clothing cooking services cleaning to providing a rent-free room if cr has been offering these things free-of-charge it may be that cr’s kids grandkids just don’t see the harsh reality of the costs involved encourage cr to ask for rent contributions suggest that cr make a family agreement that everyone living in the home is responsible for its upkeep and that includes financial upkeep as well as regular cleaning and maintenance suggest that cr set a weekly rent that covers approximately 30 of the adult children grandchildren’s pay to get them to understand what it costs and how it feels to have to depart with a set amount of pay just to have a roof over your head encourage cr to put all of this down in writing and draw up a budget if they are a full-time student are doing well in their classes and are actually working towards a degree not just taking random classes suggest that cr reconsider charging them rent they are trying to do something with their lives and there is no need to make it more difficult for them encourage cr to ask for all-family household duties for example you might suggest that cr allocate cleaning gardening shopping pet feeding mending repair and general chores to every family member able to perform tasks it is probably also a good idea that cr includes cooking at least two meals a week as part of the deal suggest that cr write all of this up as a weekly schedule and pin it up where everyone can see it encourage cr to make it clear that getting out of a task means negotiating with another family member rather than just not doing it remind cr to expect some resistance and encourage him her to respond with good hard facts for example if cr’s adult children grandchildren have been living it easy they might complain suggest that cr show them how much average rents are in the area show them the grocery bills for an average shop the electricity costs for an average home and the costs of things such as fuel mortgage repayments and rates their awareness will soon increase and even if they still feel resentful they will realize that their situation is a good one encourage cr to express his her gratitude to his her adult children grandchildren when they do chip in financially or help with household duties this helps lessen the tension for everyone involved suggest that cr try to avoid the situation by kicking his her children out the day after graduation suggest that cr put the rental money aside in a special savings account suggest that cr use this for a rainy day a vacation or even to help his her adult children grandchildren later on with education or rough patches in their lives suggest that cr try to share transportation where possible and encourage use of public transport and bikes by all of the family if cr can keep down the level of cars needed everyone benefits with less fuel costs less maintenance costs and healthier walking or riding if cr has an adult child grandchild who does live out of the house suggest that cr ask that child grandchild to come home and do the explaining to the sibling who is leeching off of cr the sibling who has a job bills and expenses will not feel guilty or have a problem telling them how it is in the real world and they also won’t have a problem smacking them upside the head when they complain

Materials: Pen paper evidence of costs from bills newspaper rental rates internet examples of costs of living etc

Categories: Sage, Topic, Emotional Psychological, Financial, Personal

Information: n/a

References: leaving the nest advice on helping adult children move out of the house by lisette hilton 2007 available at www wikihow com

Keywords: Financial dependence home interactions moochers money budgeting family relatives adult children adult grandchildren

*This information is listed as a Tip and is not explicitly medically licensed

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